Alone - Susan's Story
by Fire Arrow
Summary: After the train Wreck, Susan's left to deal with the ghosts from the past. *Set after the 7th book*
1. Waking up again.

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Alone

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Who is that girl?

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A young woman, her face covered by a black veil, with only a few golden locks peeping out of the corner of her hat.

Why's she crying?

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The girl leans over and leaves a bunch of pretty flowers on a grave.

Why am I crying? 

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The girl turns around and joins a group of other mourners; but slowly, one by one the fade away and only the girl is left behind, staring at the grave.

What's going on?

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A beautiful, big, golden lion appears besides her. The girl keeps staring at the grave but unconsciously puts a hand out to stroke the lion.

Why am I not scared? 

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The lion's eyes pierce into mine, "My child, you haven't been forgotten…"

You're lying, everybody's forgotten me… wait a minute? Who are we talking about in the first place?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Golden rays shone out from little cracks in the curtain. Susan's eye's fluttered and as the door opened she snuggled deeper into her blanket.

"Rise and shine Mistress Susan, the doctor is here to see you!" said the maid as she opened the curtains letting sunlight stream into the room. As she left the doctor, followed by her fiancé Milton Roth, entered the room. 

"Susan honey, it's been four months… I'm sure your parents and siblings wouldn't have wanted you to morn that long." He said taking her hand and giving her one of those 'charmingly dashing' smiles that had won her heart 8 months ago. Now it made her feel sick.

"No." she squealed drawing her hand away from his and turning away just to face the doctor.

"He's right you know Susan, I think you should go and get up." He said comfortingly.

"Come Susan, you should go out… I'm really beginning to worry about you. You don't eat, sleep or talk to us. The maid says you're always muttering about the silliest words… Aslan, Narnia… things your mad brothers were always talking about." Said Milton.

"They weren't mad!!!" she screamed at him. "Get out! All of you!" she sobbed as she grabbed her pillow and put it over her ears sobbing. The maid ushered the men out of the room… 

"Please gentlemen, you know better than to disturb Mistress Susan at a time like this!" she whispered and closed the door. Turning to Susan she said:

"Mistress Susan, please… it's a beautiful morning, why don't I fix you a bath and get you dressed up in your finest outfit and fix up your hair in a beautiful bun and send you out to Marian Luther's place for tea… you did promise to go to her house long, long ago." Susan opened an eye and stared for some time at the maid. For a long time there was silence then Susan threw the pillow at her dressing table and fell back onto her bed. 

"Okay, it seems as if I have very little choice." She said after a pause. The maid smiled, victorious.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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"Lucy," said Susan in a very small voice.

"Yes?" said Lucy.

"I see him now. I'm sorry."

"That's all right."

"But I've been far worse than you know. I really believed it was him – he, I mean – yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and – and – oh, I don't know. And what ever am I to say to him?"

"Perhaps you won't need to say much," suggested Lucy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ouch… leave it open Felicity. I like it open," said Susan as the maid reopened her bun and brushed all her tangles out. The black rings under her eyes weren't there anymore; one of the maids had toned them out using some expensive powder from Paris. The paleness of her cheeks wasn't showing anymore, the blush she had used had given it a slight glow again. Her face was beautiful, as was her dress… yet the emptiness of her eyes was unbearable. 

"Jane, will you prepare the carriage for me?" she asked. The maid who was changing her bed sheets looked up at her then nodded and disappeared. Felicity finished up her hair and Susan got up from her chair. As she opened her bedroom door she was almost run over by Jane.

"I beg your pardon mistress Susan but Sir Roth has just brought along his new automobile. I told him about you going out and he would like to escort you the Luther residence." She said. Susan nodded and replied.

"Tell him I'll go with him." Jane nodded and rushed down while Susan followed down the steps slowly. The house was the same as it had been four months ago; dull, lifeless, typically out of the finest houses of society. She had made it that way… because it was all she felt. Dull and Lifeless, the result of society's influence on her; the reason she lost touch with her family, with Narnia. 

Susan stepped out into the dazzling sunlight and squinted. Once her eyes got used to all that light she began to walk towards Milton's new automobile. 

"Susan…" he whispered staring at her as he opened the door for her. She smiled took his hand and let him help her into the car. Milton smiled at her then slid in from the next seat. 

Milton Roth was a landlord's oldest son and the inheritor of over 60 acres of land. Susan had met him at a party at one of her friend's cousin's house and after three months of courting they were engaged.

"You look beautiful." He said as they drove down through the streets.

"As beautiful as when you first met me?" she asked giggling slightly.

"Even more." 

The drove in pleasant silence till they reached Marian Luther's place. To Susan's surprise she found Marian waiting at the front gate.

"Su! You look fabulous… come in come in, we've been expecting you." She said as she ushered her in. Susan could have kicked herself for her stupidity at not realizing what was going on. Of course, everyone had planned this. The maid forcing her to go to Marian's, Milton ready for her with his automobile… it all made sense. 

Not that she minded at all. Suddenly it felt as if she was getting her life back again. The one she took a long time creating for herself.

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Blood… it was everywhere… there had been a screech of the railway track… then it was all over… no more screaming, no more screeching, no more blood. It was all silent, pin-drop silence with only a single sobbing noise from inside the wreckage. People all around had come back to their senses and the sobbing and crying continued. Yet Susan saw nothing… only the golden mane of the lion, wretched in blood staring at her from on top of the pile. 

"Oh my god… Aslan." She whispered. Aslan's eyes bore through hers and she could feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up on an end. He rose to his two hind legs and roared making the earth shake, Susan screamed and fell into darkness.

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Memories, that's what's coming back… I held everything back in my mind and now it's come out with full force… this scares me… I'm scared, but there's something else. Aslan wants something… and it's something that's got to do with me; but what is it?

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To Be Continued….

AN: Spent ages writing and re-writing it. I started writing it when there were only 4 stories in the CS Lewis section and halfway through I stopped cause I was bored with it. However, after the fanfics started piling in, into this section I somehow got inspired and started writing again. Hope you liked it.

Disclaimer: Narnia, Susan and everything else belongs to C.S.Lewis. The conversation between Lucy and Susan is an extract I've taken from the 4th book, Prince Caspian. The plot though is mine and so are the character who aren't mention in The Chronicles of Narnia.

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Preview of Next chapter:

Susan's heart thumped, as she stood be-witched by the lion. The only thing that separated them was the cage. 

"That's no ordinary circus lion… that's Aslan." She thought as she put her hand nearer to it. The lion in response opened it's mouth and breathed onto her. "What is it Aslan? What do you want from me?" she whispered, her fear vanishing into thin air.

"I want you to remember… I want you to believe… I want you to believe in me again."

"Believe in you…" 


	2. Narnia re-discovered

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Alone

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A few mornings later Peter and Edmund were looking at a suit of armor and wondering if they could take it to bits when the two girls rushed into the room and said. "Look out! Here comes Macready and a whole gang with her."

"Sharp's the word," said Peter, and all four made off through the door at the far end of the room. But when they had got out into the Green Room and beyond it, into the Library, they suddenly heard voices ahead of them, and realized that Mrs. Macready must be bringing her party of sightseers up the back stairs – instead of up the front stairs as they had expected. And after that – whether it was that they lost their heads, or that some magic in the house had come to life and was chasing them into Narnia- they seemed to find themselves being followed everywhere, until at last Susan said, "Oh bother those trippers! Here – let's get into the Wardrobe Room till they've passed. No one will follow us in there." But the moment they were inside they heard the voices at the door – and then they saw the handle turning.

"Quick!" said Peter, "there's no where else." And flung open the wardrobe. All four of them bundled inside it and sat there, panting, in the dark. Peter held the door closed but did not shut it; for, of course, he remembered, as every sensible person does, that you should never shut yourself up in a wardrobe.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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I shut myself up in a wardrobe… after their death, now I'm out. 

Susan saw herself sitting with Lucy and Peter. Peter was shouting at her while Lucy was trying to calm him down.

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I refused to acknowledge the existence of Narnia… why?

Now Edmund walked in, with Polly and Digory following.

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Did I forget because I was scared? No, it was because I had grown-up… I couldn't go back… it hurt. I remember.

Susan started to shout now. She screamed and ran out. Peter shouted after her, not to ask her to come back but as if he were angry at her for running out while he was talking.

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Why did I make such a big deal out of everything? No wonder everybody hates me…

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Susan smiled at Milton then turned to the road in front of her. 

" I can't wait for the surprise you promised me," She said. 

"You'll love it." He told her. It was the day after she had been to Marian's and already she was feeling alive again. Except for the little hole in her heart, the bit where he family was.

They passed houses and fields for ages before they reached some sort of parking space. Susan climbed out and so did Milton.

"It's the circus! Oh Milton I love going to the circus, Peter always said-" she trailed off as she realized that for the first time in 4 months she'd taken Peter's name… Peter…

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A wolf standing on its hind legs, with its front paws against the tree-trunk, snapping and snarling. All the hair on the back stood up on an end. Susan had not been able to get higher than the second big branch. One of her legs hung down so that her foot was only an inch or two above the snapping teeth. Peter wondered why she did not get higher or at least take a better grip; then he realized that she was just going to faint and that if she fainted she would fall off.

Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do. He rushed straight up to the monster and aimed a slash of his sword at its side. That stroke never reached the Wolf. Quick as lightning it turned round, its eyes flaming, and its mouth wide open in a howl of anger. If it had not been so angry that it simply had to howl it would have got him by the throat at once. As it was – though all this happened too quickly for Peter to think at all – he had just time to duck down and plunge his sword, as hard as he could, between the brute's forelegs into it's heart. Then came a horrible, confused moment like something in a nightmare. He was tugging and pulling and the Wolf seemed neither alive nor dead, and its bared teeth knocked against his forehead, and everything was blood and heat and hair. A moment later he found that the monster lay dead and he had drawn his sword out of it and was straightening his back and rubbing the sweat off his face and out of his eyes. He felt tired all over.

Then, after a bit, Susan came down the tree. She and Peter felt shaky when they met and I won't say there wasn't kissing and crying on both sides. But in Narnia no one thinks the worst of you for that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Su? You okay." Susan snapped back from her trance and smiled at Milton. 

"Yeah," she said and looked at the lion cage at the side of the cue.

Susan's heart thumped, as she stood be-witched by the lion. The only thing that separated them was the cage. 

"That's no ordinary circus lion… that's Aslan." She thought as she put her hand nearer to it. The lion in response opened its mouth and breathed onto her. "What is it Aslan? What do you want from me?" she whispered, her fear vanishing into thin air.

"I want you to remember… I want you to believe… I want you to believe in me again."

"Believe in you…"

"Susan?" Milton asked turning to her. "Are you alright? Do you want to go home?" Susan managed a weak nod and collapsed into his arms.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"…She'll be all right. She's under weight though. I don't suppose she ate well during the time she was sick." Susan heard voices outside and groaned. She was back in her bed but this time the bed sheets had been changed. The voices stopped and it seemed that the people had gone. Still there was a presence in the room. Susan got up and looked at the other end. It was him. Aslan. 

"I didn't mean to frighten you child." He said. Susan smiled at him. 

"Oh Aslan!" she sighed and got out of bed and hugged him.

"We missed you child… all of us… I most of all. My child, why did you forget me?" he asked. Susan closed her eyes.

"Oh Aslan… you have no idea… it hurts… I could never go back to Narnia, I couldn't stand it. I thought it would be better to forget it." 

"Peter is there, and so is Lucy and Edmund. Polly, Digory, Eustance… and Jill. You remember Jill." Susan fretted.

"We never got along but she was nice." She laughed. After a moment's silence she spoke again. "Aslan? Can I go there… I mean I know I tried to forget it… but can I come to Narnia and stay there… I mean forever." Aslan bowed his head.

"Someday child… someday; but for now… you need to finish some unfinished business… I need you to go back to England. Yes, to England. Professor Kirk's house. Take the wardrobe and have it burned. The only path to Narnia is now death, the door is only open for one more person… you Susan. It will be a long wait but you will go to Narnia. Until then, live your life to the fullest." As he spoke his voice faded and Susan found herself holding onto the sofa.

"Aslan…" she whispered as she opened her eyes. "I'll never forget Narnia, never again, ever…" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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50 years later

Susan looked up at the sky and smiled. She leaned back in her chair and sighed, then turned to the young man in front of her. 

"You want to know the rest? There is nothing else. Narnia is gone and I never reached there… but my people are waiting and I will go there again…" she looked away then back again.

"Congratulation on winning an award for The Last Battle, Mr. Lewis. I'm sure my siblings would have been happy to read it." She said. After another 5 minutes he left and Susan's eyes followed his till his car was out of sight. Then she turned to the lion that had been standing next to her the whole time.

"I have come Susan… it is time." He whispered. Susan looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Finally… I have been waiting." She said as she rose from her chair. Maybe she didn't notice or maybe she was just ignoring it but while she rose, her body didn't, and as she walked off into a flash of light with Aslan a young woman came running up to where Susan was sitting a few minutes back.

" Mother! Mother! Mother… no, John, Scissile, Father! Mother's dead!" she screamed.

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THE END

AN: I had planned to make it longer but somehow I managed to end it right there instead. What more could I write anyway without making it drag? Again I hope you liked the story (It's the first one I've been able to complete to far… anyway, I'll start working on another C.S.Lewis fanfiction soon but based on his re-telling of the ancient Greek myth of Psyche and Cupid in the book "Till we all have faces" Instead. Gee, I loved that book… I recommend that you all read it! It was in my Aunt's mythology syllabus when she was in college.

Thanks: To all the reviewers that reviewed for chapter one. It's so wonderful to see you ppl enjoyed it ^_^, I'm awfully flattered by your comments. Thanks again.

Disclaimer: You know it so I won't bother again apart from telling you that Mr.Lewis is C.S.Lewis (he does mention something about talking to Lucy –even though its made up- it The voyage of the Dawn Treader), and that the three flash backs (apart from the second one, which is made-up) are from the book: The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe.


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